Feeling a little better

After yesterday I wasn't sure I'd feel so good today but surprisingly after a good nights sleep I feel as good as I can do I think. I did another pregnancy test this morning just in case.......still negative though. :-((
Although I don't feel quite so sad and desperate as I did yesterday I still feel a little hopeless and I'm just so scared that this is never going to work for me and that I'm never going to have the chance to have a child of my own. That scars the hell out of me, it really does.

This afternoon dad and I went down to the allotment again to do a few bits and pieces, as I've said before this is good for me really, I enjoy doing the allotment and it keeps me nice and busy, it's a solitary thing really apart from with dad but that's still fine it keeps me busy and that's the main thing.

Tomorrow I'm off to London for a couple of days to see a friend, I'm really looking forward to that too and again it'll be another chance to take my mind of off everything else that's going on. I've also made another appointment at the clinic for a follow up and to see what happens now, that's next Wednesday.